Some Real Conversation for Your Ass

Some people have told me that they like to read these little things I write here because they don’t think like me and I guess they find it interesting or something. Well over these 23 years I have been alive now, I have come up with a few theories on today’s society. Now you may have heard these before, be it from me or somebody else, but I assure you these are my ideas. Now before you start reading this I feel I must warn you that I talk about some scandalous stuff in this entry. Sex, drugs, and sluts to name a few; Now I am writing this intro before I start getting into the body so this may change but I have a general outline in my head and I may have some things in here that some people may find offensive. So if you cannot handle talk of black people, drugs, and tapes of sexual escapades whether they be mine or anyone elses… I was going to say to stop reading this, but I don’t want you to… keep reading, you might learn something, probably not, but it is possible. If you are like me and enjoy reading about scandalous things, prepare for a nice double dose of this pimping. Heh, that doesn’t mean anything. Let’s get started shall we…

A lot of people I talk to about this subject have a pretty open mind about this, some, not so much, you know who you are. I know a lot of people that want to “legalize it” or whatever slogan you choose to go by, but let me tell you why I think America will never "Legalize it", no matter what benefit might befall on us. In case you haven’t figured this out yet, I am talking about a lady that goes by the name of Mary Jane. The obvious reason is that there is a lot of money to be made from giving people fines and cleaning the streets of smelly slackers with knit sweatshirts that call me bro even though I have never met them. (I think everyone I have met that wears a knitred hooded sweatshirt has turned out to be a stoner or ex-smoker.) That is not why I think it won’t be legalized here though. They could make plenty of money taxing the shit out of it if they had control of the market.

Before I get into this, let us think about the Patriot Act, the Dept. of Homeland Security, the Ministry of Truth, etc… now I will be the first to admit I don’t know that much about the Patriot Act and the other things like it, but I do know it came after 9-11, and it is our way of giving up some of our liberties and freedoms in order to be protected from the Muslims, I mean terrorists. This paved the way for unwarranted wiretapping, searches, torturing, and a telescreen in every home.

Now I am not sure if you are picking up the references in the last paragraph, but the worst kind of changes happen slowly. Now I am no PoliSci guy and I don’t claim to be a conspiracy theorist or anything like that, but it seems like if things keep going the way they are, you are going to look back one day in the distant future when you are old, gray, and incontinent and you might be surprised that things look a little like that story I was referring to.

The way out of this is for rebels to act up against the establishment to let them know they are upset, whether it is killing redcoats or going on hunger strikes. Another way some people in America like to rebel is to smoke marijuana. When people smoke, it takes away their ambitions and makes them think it is just fine sitting around playing games or watching TV or play Frisbee golf. I am not trying to bag on people’s methods, but a lot of people like to sit around and talk about how much they hate the government and what it is doing to our lives. These people are rebelling against the government, which I approve of, but it doesn’t really get anywhere. And that is my point. The government has a way of keeping these possible revolutionaries quiet. Meanwhile, the majority of people sit back and contently drink their alcohol (alcohol makes you dumb too, by the way). So the alcohol keeps the normal “straight laced” people dumb and content with the changes that are slowly happening around them. While the counterculture, the ones that want to change things and go against the flow, are obscured by a cloud of smoke and end up melting to their couch or getting covered in a jazzy cocoon or whatever happens to them in the anti-drug commercials you see these days and they end up sitting back and letting these changes happen even though they think they are rebelling against the establishment.

So that is why I think pot won’t be legalized here. Call me paranoid or whatever you want, but that is just the way I see things. I am not trying to incite you to riot in the streets or anything, but I hear people sometimes wondering why they don’t just legalize it. That is why. Well, now is about as good a time as any to move on to the next topic I guess.

A long time ago, before tractors and combines were invented, early Americans used different machines to get their work done. These machines were self-repairing, easy to operate, and self-replicating. They resembled their owners slightly but there was one characteristic that made them easy to tell apart from the people that owned the machines. The owners were white and the machines were black.

Flash forward to today and these black brothers of ours live among us in general peace and harmony for the most part. There are some rednecks and racists that don’t like these people living among them and their families. These people depend on stereotypes to enforce their opinions and justify their feeling of hate to these people simply based on the color of their skin. Some zealots even think that God purposefully made these people to be subservient to the white people (bullshit, but whatever, moving on).

There are a couple of stereotypes I would like to focus on for the sake of this piece of writing. I think stereotypes are generally bad, but sometimes I think that they exist for a reason, in other words there may be a shred of truth in them. These particular thoughts came to me a few years ago and then came back about a couple weeks ago when I was hearing my roommate talk about this sort of stuff. One of these stereotypes is black people’s inherent athletic ability. The other one is a little harder to talk about, even though I feel the need to address it for some reason, but it is related to the phrase “Once you go black, you will never go back.” Yes that’s right, I am talking about their purported penis size, apparently they are huge. Now I can’t back this up being a man that has not seen many black dongs (none in person) but I guess I have heard some things about them, as I am sure most of you have.

Lets go back in time once more to when the slave traders were just arriving in the colonies and later in the states. When a prospective slave owner arrived, the traders would strip and line up the black men and women to allow the customers to view and inspect the wares. Now I don’t approve of slavery one bit and I think it is a very dark chapter in American history and there are still too many black and white people that are very bitter about that whole situation. But if I were to put myself in a buyer’s shoes, I would think he would want to pick the ones that were the best built and looked the most virile. This means he would probably pick the one with the biggest muscles and the biggest penis. I can see them right now walking up and down the line of people and saying, “Hey this one looks like a stud, I think I will take him”.

Coming back to the future I come to my point, I know it sounds weird and I hope you don’t think I am racist because I don’t feel like I am. I am just being realistic here. It sounds unfortunate, but black people used to be bred in this country like horses. And now I hear people getting upset about how a lot of the sports superstars these days are black, well they have to stick to what they are good at. And instead of being good at being farm machinery to benefit their “owners,” they are now good at providing the ancestors of the people that oppressed their ancestors with hours upon hours of straight, hypnotizing entertainment.

Moving away from that last topic, I am going to change the subject entirely. Sometime not too long ago I turned on my TV to the one channel that I get here in Grand Forks, which is ABC for those of you who may be wondering, and saw a show called Hollywood Insider or some other clone of that show. They tell you the stories you really need to know, one of these stories I saw had to do with Paris Hilton’s rich granddaddy slashing the inheritance he planned to give his family to some sort of ridiculously low amount of a few measly million dollars and the people on the show told us not to worry because she has made about 7 million dollars last year.

Now when I heard this news I said to myself, “Well that sucks, for her”. This thought shocked me a little bit. Why do people even care about this chick? I have heard that she is the woman that is famous for being famous I guess. But how did she get famous? This caused me to start thinking back to when she first started getting in the limelight. It makes me think back to working at Thrifty White Drug and seeing her face splattered all over the tabloids that they kept up at the front counter. I was always trying to figure out who the hell this chick was. Then I heard about this sex tape that was circulating the net featuring her and some other guy. While I think she is an attractive woman and I personally liked the video, plus she pulls in billionaire trust fund money, but she, and her agents probably, wanted more than that.

Then I found it curious that soon after this tape was “leaked”, she suddenly had her very own reality show with this other cute white girl who is somehow the daughter of black entertainer Lionel Richie. So here is what I think, the tape was a stunt. I am not sure if Paris had anything to do with the release (I saw the tape and I guess she did have something to do with the release… if you follow me, giggidy), but I think it was contrived because they wanted to have a reality show where rich girls go and visit poor people and laugh at their backwards peasant ways. They didn’t want to have two relatively unknown girls on this show, so they decided to let this tape out and take advantage of the human obsession with sex to get her name out there. And it worked; the show was a smashing success. And now Paris can continue to live her celebrity lifestyle of sex, drugs, and crappy rock & roll even though her trust fund went bye-bye. Indeed… God Bless America!

One last little thought that I might as well add real fast came to me because of the environmental engineering class was not originally my thought, I heard it from this guy I worked with, so if you are reading this now, I am stealing your idea… yes it is true, but I only do it because I liked hearing the idea and I would like to share it with those who have made it this far in this little rant I am doing. The class deals a lot with wastewater and the treatment of it so it can be released back into the environment (fun fact from the future: The tap water you are drinking and showering in GF is probably partly composed of water that has went down the drain or flushed down the toilet in Fargo, I wouldn't worry about it though, it has been treated very well... maybe) , so that got me thinking about how I heard this person saying that the Y-chromosome is getting smaller. The Y-chromosome is a chromosome that makes you a male if you end up with it. That is a very simplified explanation of it because that is about all I can remember about it, give me a break, I’m not a fucking biologist. Anyway, I heard an interesting theory about why the Y is getting smaller.

Back in the 1950’s I think, an oral contraceptive was released and began to gain popularity. This pill, that, by the way, was good enough to be referred to as “The Pill”, had some hormones in it that changed the way a woman’s body works and prevents them from ovulating, thus preventing pregnancy.

The synthetic estrogen in the pill doesn’t stay in their bodies. It comes out in the girls’ urine and is then flushed down the toilet. The hormones then begin a long journey through a water treatment facility where it is eventually gets released back into the world. The treatment facilities have a hard time getting rid of these hormones that are constantly coming through with greater amounts of birth control being used in the world. The estrogen rich water goes downstream and eventually comes through as drinking water somewhere else for someone else to drink.

Now as I have said before I don’t have much knowledge in this area to say the least, but I would venture a guess that all of this constant exposure to those hormones would eventually have an effect on some things… Men are always drinking it and women drinking and bathing in the water while pregnant with the men. You would think something would happen right?

Now I realize that some of you with more info on this than me will have some sort of differing opinion on this, you may be right. I am probably wrong, but I think it is good to think about it. This is one aspect of how the humans affect the environment we don’t hear about so often in these days of global warming and trash pollution activism.

Well that is going to do it for me on this one. Sorry these have been getting a little long, this piece is about four pages long in Microsoft Word, but I guess I just have a lot of stuff to say. Also it has been getting easier to write these. It is actually starting to become sort of an outlet for the frustrations I get sometimes in this world. If you made it through this, I have to give you kudos, also I hope it gave you something to ponder over. Sometimes thoughts are fun.

Well, until next time,
Seth