There is apparently a big movement going around the country. Dirty Godless savages are using a covert subliminal campaign trying to warp our children’s minds into thinking for themselves and not listening to everything adults tell them to believe. This movement is centered on a fantasy movie that was released last week sometime called “The Golden Compass.” The movie is based on a trilogy of books written by this guy named Philip Pullman and while I have never read the book or seen the movie, the previews remind me of the Narnia and Lord of the Rings movies. For some reason($), New Line Cinema found this book and thought($) it would make a good movie($) and decided to take the anti-religious sentiment out of the movie so more people would go see it.($).
Wait what was that last part about anti-religious sentiment? Oh right, the author is also an outspoken atheist. And apparently according to an article at FOXNews, (who we all know check, recheck, and check their facts again) some Christian groups (read: cults- search yourself, you know it to be true) say that this author allowed the anti- religious messages in his books to be removed without much fuss because the poor, impressionable children will see the movie and be taken in by its magical storyline. I guess some fundamentalists contacted the studio making the movie and demanded they removed those themes from the movie. I guess they didn’t realize that once the movie has the hook in their mouths, the kids would ask their parents to buy them the books for Christmas. Then the kids will start reading these stories and then turn into mindless atheists doomed to spend eternity in a lake of fire having limbs ripped off, only to have them grow back to be ripped off again and again. Oh the humanity!
We had this same problem when women and black people started reading, pretty soon they will be getting “ideas” and start “thinking”. Then where will you be? Pretty soon we will have a country that isn’t tied to one idea and we might get a government that doesn’t persecute based on what you believe. A good example of this is Muslims on airplanes. But you can’t say that this guy looks like a Muslim, I am going to search his bags. Nope, in the airport security manual, Muslim has been replaced with the words “Random Bag Check.” Maybe they should make themselves look less threatening, wear pink baseball caps and carry around Hello Kittie Backpacks while sucking on a Popsicle (preferably red flavored (Thanks Dave!)). OK, I am letting my sarcastic brain cell get the best of me here, and I was considering deleting this last paragraph, as it may be offensive to some people, plus it is a little off subject, but I am not going to. Suck on that one time, Mother Fuckers!
I guess what really bothered me about all this hoopla over this movie is that even if the hype is true and the author does in fact want to spread the atheist message around a little bit; us Christians already have the jump on them. I recall going to Sunday school, we called it CCD in the Catholic church, as a kid. When I could barely read, I was already pledging my body, heart, and soul to this God fellow and his illegitimate love child, Jesus (side note: Mary was probably the last girl to be able to use that excuse for cheating on her husband. “A God came and seduced me, there was nothing I could do” was a pretty common phrase back in the days of Greek and Roman mythology, read into it, the gods had a lot of half mortal children running around, dirty whores.) Anyway, as a kid growing up in a Catholic family, I didn’t have much choice about what to believe in, then I learned that this God once killed every man, woman, and animal except for a small fraction of people he kept imprisoned at sea for 40 days and 40 nights. Upon hearing this, I accepted it to be true without a question. Yet I still offered my life and soul to this intangible authority figure shaking his finger at me from thousands of years ago; it must be from all of the heavy inbreeding that has went on since that flood.
I guess what I am trying to say here is this; Hey Christians, you already have this country in a death grip, maybe it is time you loosened up the choke hold a little bit. Remember you have done this before; a couple years ago you protested a movie called the Da Vinci Code. This was a movie that suggested that Jesus was a real person with real human need for tang and he acted on it by getting married to a harlot. I am not sure how it was handled everywhere else, but in GF some Christian Soldier stole the lenses (stealing is a sin by the way) for the projectors so they could not play the movie. I haven’t watched the movie, but I heard the movie didn’t do very well. I think the protest might have had something to do with it, but I heard it just wasn’t that good of a movie. I could be wrong, the movie may have done very well, but I have not researched anything for this note, this is all coming from my head, except for that FOXnews article I guess. (edit from the future: I figured I could use the FOXnews article, because I found a link to the site on a protesting Facebook group, and I figured the story was pretty much the same everywhere else)
I know I have talked about this stuff a lot before, but this new story just kind of bugged me. Religious people think they can brainwash kids in order to spread and maintain their beliefs, but when someone with an opposing belief tries to brainwash kids, they run and tell their friends in the Bush Administration or Al Sharpton or whoever the go-to guy is these days and it gets on the news and the Christian soldiers around the nation take up arms and let their voices be heard. Yeah we get the point, you love Jesus, don't we all, now shut up please.
I feel you should know that this is not a pro-atheist rant. An atheist’s judgment is flawed too; the belief in nothing above all else is still the belief in something. They are saying they know that there isn’t anything more out there. We are humans, and I hate to be the one to tell you this if you didn’t already know, but we don’t know shit. We probably understand about 5% of what goes on in this universe we live in. (another edit from the future: A comment was left about this note on my Facebook profile by someone who is foShizzle, it featured the lyrics to a Rush song by the name of "Freewill" I think. There is a line in the chorus that goes as follows "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." then he goes on to say "I will choose a path that's clear, I will choose freewill." I don't know where I was going with this, but I felt it should be included)
So, to sum up yet again, my real beef with this Golden Compass hoopla is that we should let people make up there own mind, you don’t need to freak out every time someone whose beliefs differ from yours releases some sort of media that may succeed in spreading their message. If your message is really as powerful as you seem to think it is, you don’t have anything to worry about.
Well I guess that is all I want to say for now; I need to keep my mind limber over Christmas break. And if you think I am going to study school stuff I will say “Good day to you Sir!” Also there are lots of parentheses strewn about with what would seem like reckless abandon. For some reason I enjoy using a parentheses here and there, it is a good way to put in a fact or a snappy comment without having to make a different sentence. Also I would like to thank everyone for reading these and giving me feedback, I enjoy reading the comments and hearing what you say in person about as much as I enjoy writing. Well, if I don’t talk to you, have a good Christmas.
Amen,
Seth
**************BONUS AFTERTHOUGHTS**************
Three things I learned last weekend.
1) The new Futurama movie is fantastic and a great way to continue an already awesome series. If you remotely like the show then you will like the movie. They tie a lot of loose ends left in the original series up very nicely.
2) When cooking with hot oil in a pan, keep the handle in, not out. If you happen to put your hand down on the handle to hard, physics demands that the scalding hot contents of said pan must be launched onto your hand, causing much discomfort.
3) It is still possible to laugh all the way though a movie. I watched Superbad a couple days ago and I was laughing for most of the time. Maybe because there is a lot of truth in it…. Plus a lot of people named Seth were involved in the production of it. I like that there are more Seths becoming famous, it is a great name and everyone should have the chance to enjoy it.
Wait what was that last part about anti-religious sentiment? Oh right, the author is also an outspoken atheist. And apparently according to an article at FOXNews, (who we all know check, recheck, and check their facts again) some Christian groups (read: cults- search yourself, you know it to be true) say that this author allowed the anti- religious messages in his books to be removed without much fuss because the poor, impressionable children will see the movie and be taken in by its magical storyline. I guess some fundamentalists contacted the studio making the movie and demanded they removed those themes from the movie. I guess they didn’t realize that once the movie has the hook in their mouths, the kids would ask their parents to buy them the books for Christmas. Then the kids will start reading these stories and then turn into mindless atheists doomed to spend eternity in a lake of fire having limbs ripped off, only to have them grow back to be ripped off again and again. Oh the humanity!
We had this same problem when women and black people started reading, pretty soon they will be getting “ideas” and start “thinking”. Then where will you be? Pretty soon we will have a country that isn’t tied to one idea and we might get a government that doesn’t persecute based on what you believe. A good example of this is Muslims on airplanes. But you can’t say that this guy looks like a Muslim, I am going to search his bags. Nope, in the airport security manual, Muslim has been replaced with the words “Random Bag Check.” Maybe they should make themselves look less threatening, wear pink baseball caps and carry around Hello Kittie Backpacks while sucking on a Popsicle (preferably red flavored (Thanks Dave!)). OK, I am letting my sarcastic brain cell get the best of me here, and I was considering deleting this last paragraph, as it may be offensive to some people, plus it is a little off subject, but I am not going to. Suck on that one time, Mother Fuckers!
I guess what really bothered me about all this hoopla over this movie is that even if the hype is true and the author does in fact want to spread the atheist message around a little bit; us Christians already have the jump on them. I recall going to Sunday school, we called it CCD in the Catholic church, as a kid. When I could barely read, I was already pledging my body, heart, and soul to this God fellow and his illegitimate love child, Jesus (side note: Mary was probably the last girl to be able to use that excuse for cheating on her husband. “A God came and seduced me, there was nothing I could do” was a pretty common phrase back in the days of Greek and Roman mythology, read into it, the gods had a lot of half mortal children running around, dirty whores.) Anyway, as a kid growing up in a Catholic family, I didn’t have much choice about what to believe in, then I learned that this God once killed every man, woman, and animal except for a small fraction of people he kept imprisoned at sea for 40 days and 40 nights. Upon hearing this, I accepted it to be true without a question. Yet I still offered my life and soul to this intangible authority figure shaking his finger at me from thousands of years ago; it must be from all of the heavy inbreeding that has went on since that flood.
I guess what I am trying to say here is this; Hey Christians, you already have this country in a death grip, maybe it is time you loosened up the choke hold a little bit. Remember you have done this before; a couple years ago you protested a movie called the Da Vinci Code. This was a movie that suggested that Jesus was a real person with real human need for tang and he acted on it by getting married to a harlot. I am not sure how it was handled everywhere else, but in GF some Christian Soldier stole the lenses (stealing is a sin by the way) for the projectors so they could not play the movie. I haven’t watched the movie, but I heard the movie didn’t do very well. I think the protest might have had something to do with it, but I heard it just wasn’t that good of a movie. I could be wrong, the movie may have done very well, but I have not researched anything for this note, this is all coming from my head, except for that FOXnews article I guess. (edit from the future: I figured I could use the FOXnews article, because I found a link to the site on a protesting Facebook group, and I figured the story was pretty much the same everywhere else)
I know I have talked about this stuff a lot before, but this new story just kind of bugged me. Religious people think they can brainwash kids in order to spread and maintain their beliefs, but when someone with an opposing belief tries to brainwash kids, they run and tell their friends in the Bush Administration or Al Sharpton or whoever the go-to guy is these days and it gets on the news and the Christian soldiers around the nation take up arms and let their voices be heard. Yeah we get the point, you love Jesus, don't we all, now shut up please.
I feel you should know that this is not a pro-atheist rant. An atheist’s judgment is flawed too; the belief in nothing above all else is still the belief in something. They are saying they know that there isn’t anything more out there. We are humans, and I hate to be the one to tell you this if you didn’t already know, but we don’t know shit. We probably understand about 5% of what goes on in this universe we live in. (another edit from the future: A comment was left about this note on my Facebook profile by someone who is foShizzle, it featured the lyrics to a Rush song by the name of "Freewill" I think. There is a line in the chorus that goes as follows "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." then he goes on to say "I will choose a path that's clear, I will choose freewill." I don't know where I was going with this, but I felt it should be included)
So, to sum up yet again, my real beef with this Golden Compass hoopla is that we should let people make up there own mind, you don’t need to freak out every time someone whose beliefs differ from yours releases some sort of media that may succeed in spreading their message. If your message is really as powerful as you seem to think it is, you don’t have anything to worry about.
Well I guess that is all I want to say for now; I need to keep my mind limber over Christmas break. And if you think I am going to study school stuff I will say “Good day to you Sir!” Also there are lots of parentheses strewn about with what would seem like reckless abandon. For some reason I enjoy using a parentheses here and there, it is a good way to put in a fact or a snappy comment without having to make a different sentence. Also I would like to thank everyone for reading these and giving me feedback, I enjoy reading the comments and hearing what you say in person about as much as I enjoy writing. Well, if I don’t talk to you, have a good Christmas.
Amen,
Seth
**************BONUS AFTERTHOUGHTS*************
Three things I learned last weekend.
1) The new Futurama movie is fantastic and a great way to continue an already awesome series. If you remotely like the show then you will like the movie. They tie a lot of loose ends left in the original series up very nicely.
2) When cooking with hot oil in a pan, keep the handle in, not out. If you happen to put your hand down on the handle to hard, physics demands that the scalding hot contents of said pan must be launched onto your hand, causing much discomfort.
3) It is still possible to laugh all the way though a movie. I watched Superbad a couple days ago and I was laughing for most of the time. Maybe because there is a lot of truth in it…. Plus a lot of people named Seth were involved in the production of it. I like that there are more Seths becoming famous, it is a great name and everyone should have the chance to enjoy it.
Alright, Who divided by Zero?
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