Bitches

OK, here goes. I am going to let my dear readers in on a little secret. Some of you may know this already about me, but for those of you that don't, be prepared not for something shocking, I guess just be prepared to know something else about me. But something I have realized about myself increasingly in the past couple years. I really do love women, and before you start snickering, let me tell you I have always sought out relationships of the romantic sorts with women and have never really considered the alternative... just not my thing. When I see the body of a girl I am attracted to, I see curves, and other goodness I probably don't need to get into now. Guys are just guys, kind of like Christmas tree with only one ornament, if you need a visual.
Anyway, enough of that. What I am talking about is the friendships I have developed with the fairer sex over the years. Now I know a lot of you guys out there have friends that are girls, but it seems to me you depend more on your friends of the same sex. I am not trying to preach or try to tell you how you live your lives. As always I am just saying what I see.
It is not that I am saying I don't like my guy friends, because I have a lot of valuable male friends. It is just that I feel I can say more to my lady friends. I can connect on more levels with women than I can with men. For example, when I am telling a story (I like telling stories), girls seem to focus on the story as it happened; rather than guys who seem to focus on what they think should have happened (how I should have touched her butt, or they suggest what they would have done). As you know I am not trying to say this is the case with everyone I know… I am just generalizing because I like to; there are always exceptions to rules.

I think that there are several reasons for this, some which may be discovered by my therapist years from now… But I think that the main one that comes to my mind comes from when I was a little kid. I grew up in the same house without ever really moving around to a new house, and since it was out in the country, I didn’t have a lot of neighbors my age. There was one however that was close by. This neighbor happened to be a lady by the name of Courtney O. Perhaps you have heard of her, she is only the best cowgirl in the tri-state area. So don’t try to impress her with your belt buckle, believe me, I have tried. Anyway, she lived right across the bridge and we were always hanging out together playing little pretend kiddy games. The favorite was “Be Anything You Wanna Be.” I am not sure if you have ever played it but it can go on forever.

Well years went on and I always found it easy to be friends with girls. It got a little awkward once I started going through that weird teenage time when things begin growing and descending, but I got over it eventually and once I got a little older and my hormones leveled out I was ready to continue the friendships.

So I think that is about all I wanted to get out in this little spiel. For my girly friends reading this, I hope you realize that this is a joke title. I just thought it would be funny. I am not saying bitches in a derogatory sense, it is more like when you walk into a party and people start cheering… you almost have to yell “What’s up bitches!?” That is getting off the subject, it is just the fact that I think I am hilarious and that title is just an example of that fact.

For the guys reading this, I hope you can understand what I am talking about. This goes double for the boyfriends; sometimes they can get the wrong idea about what I am about. But I do assure you I am too boring to do anything bad like that. Plus I am usually friends with them as well and I am not a jackass and don’t do things like that.

So to close out this little piece I would like to give some of the favorite women in my life a little shout out, so to speak. I will make a list and say a little bit about why they are important to me. I think listing them in chronological order of me meeting them is the best way to do it (Note: I met the third, fourth and fifth at pretty much the same time so I listed them alphabetically.) Also, I only included girls on this list I have had any recent dealings and meetings with, if you are upset that I am leaving you out, which I sure I am leaving some of you out, you should maybe try to get a hold of me more and stop depending on me to do it and you may just get yourself up on the list.

---Seth

Laureen: Who’s got the greatest mom in the world? I dooo. My mom is number one in my heart; it’s truuuue. My mom’s the best mom, better than your mom, let’s sing it together in harmonyyy. A little reference from a show I like there, but seriously, I think my mom is one of the greatest women in my life. She came from a great family and she raised three kick ass boys to think for themselves and not be taken in by other peoples shit.

Courtney: Well, I know you wanted a shout-out, and it sort of turned into this little thing here, so thanks for that I guess. I have known you all my life and now I think we have come around full circle what with the roommates in another city. It seems to be working out well.

Erin: Oh Erin, you are a great woman, we had a decent relationship in grade and high school, but I think we really connected afterwards. We are both geniuses and we have some more stuff in common.

Jenny: Ah, I miss you Jenny, ever since you moved to Kapmando (heh) GF hasn’t been the same without you here. We didn’t talk to much in high school, but I remember that first night I was ever in GF. The rest of my family was at the bar so I began to wander around campus looking for something interesting, and I have to say you were the last person I expected to run into, but I did and you took me out for a night. The months and years that followed I am pretty sure I learned you were one of my favorite people ever. I think the P Roach concert is what sealed the deal for me.

Susan: Susan, Susan, Susan, my longhaired friend, I don’t know why but we party so well together and out of everyone from back home, I probably miss you the most. Plus you sometimes actually come to see me too. So I think it is your turn to come to GF so we can party and perhaps get some Rhombus pizza.

Alisha: How could I forget about my lady neighbor on the other side? I didn't so that was a pointless question. I am glad you decided to come to GF to hang with me, I didn't really know what to think at first to see you in this different atmosphere out of the Projects, but I really enjoy having you around here and look forward to more days of bugging you at the student union to come.

Amanda: I have known and been good friends with you for quite some time. You have always been there with an open ear for me and sometimes that is all I needed. We may not really see each much now for some reasons or others, but I still miss you and still value our friendship.

Ellie: When I met you I could tell we had a lot in common, but once we started hanging out I found out just how much so. I find that if I have some sort of gripe about people or society I can always bring it to you and even if you don’t agree with it (you usually do it seems) you will at least understand and have some words to calm me down.

Heather: I am not sure if engineering school would be the same without you. I always enjoy seeing you in the halls and study rooms. One of my favorite things to do is to lock you into a conversation about something unimportant while you slowly become late for class. I also really enjoy hanging out with you outside of school as well, I haven’t really been seeing you outside much lately, I am sure there are reasons, also a few theories about why that my mind has come up with, but I think those are not to be discussed here. They are best discussed over Caesars and a cracker pizza at the Frog.

Whitney: I guess I have known you for less than two years but I really enjoy your company. A good night is usually had partying with you and RB. I think we really bonded that night of your 21^st birthday… bars are fun.

KELLY: I tried to save the baby, but I let you down babe.